Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Moral and Spiritual Dilemma

Jasfoup threw down his telephone in a fit of pique, though he made sure it was onto the sofa where it wouldn’t get damaged. It had taken him hours to program all the telephone numbers hr knew into its memory. “Gotta go,” he said, enjoying the intrinsic wickedness of the contraction. “I have a level three explosion risk to attend to.”

“What’s that then?” Harold grabbed his coat, hurrying to catch up with the demon.

“It’s someone who has diametric viewpoints with regard to good and evil, however you wish to define those arbitrary terms,” Jasfoup said. “This one is a vicar who thinks that women ought to be allowed freedom of choice when it comes to abortion.”

“They should, though,” said Harold. “There are hundreds of reasons why a woman shouldn’t be forced to carry a foetus to full term.”

“You know that and I know that and even this vicar knows that,” said Jasfoup, pulling on Wellingtons as he ran. His momentary hopping gate would have been comical in other circumstances. “But God disagrees and made it perfectly clear in his anthology.”

“The Bible, you mean?”

“Yes, the Bible. Unfortunately, what this leads to is the logical and mythical parts of the good vicar’s brain warring with each other until one reaches critical overload, which it has now.”

“What will happen?”

“If I don’t talk him down, get him to drink the sacramental wine or swear at a nun or something, his soul will explode, sending shards of spirit in a three mile radius. That’s what causes random acts of violence-”

“-and kindness,” said Harold.

“Exactly.” Jasfoup picked up a brass crucifix and thumped it experimentally into his palm. “That’s the last thing we need.”

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