Thursday, April 17, 2008

Vampire Euphemisms

Harold unlocked the door and shoved it open. The stairs led down into darkness and he fumbled for the light switch on his right. Fluorescent light flooded the expanse of the floor below, easily the size of the building and the two next to it.

“It’s the area of all four buildings,” said Harold, helpfully. “I have the lease of them all but never had a use for the communal cellar. If you want to lease it we’ll have to board up the other access doors.”

“Want it?” Felicia went down the steps and held out her arms, twirling on the spot. “It’s an amazing space. Of course I want it.”

“That’s good then.” Harold smiled and came down to join her. “There are some windows over here, boarded up, of course.”

“I’ll need a picture window and a set of sliding doors big enough to get sculpture through,” Felicia said. “Will you arrange that?”

“I suppose so. I have people to do that sort of thing.”


“Naturally.” Harold smiled again. “This is the biggest area and could be your main gallery. There’s a smaller room there you could use as an office and a couple of medium spaces as well.”

“Harold?” Felicia stared at the would-be office. “There’s a coffin in here.”

“Ah.” Harold appeared at her shoulder and looked inside. “That belonged to Isaacs, a friend of mine. Let’s just say he moved to sunnier climes.”


Zinnia Cyclamen said...

I had to read it twice - but once it sank in, I laughed. Hello, I've been having a comment holiday, which has been very refreshing, but I should be dropping in from time to time again from now. Is there any news about when your book is coming out? I want to read it!

Leatherdykeuk said...

Hi Zinnia. Alas no. No word from the publisher despite my e-mails. It was originally due out this month as well!