Sunday, May 18, 2008

Discounted Rates

Entering Alexandrian Gold and asking for a discounted rate on your purchases will bring you some interesting reactions. Julie, on the shop front, will raise a quizzical eye* and, half amused, will buzz through to the main office for Harold to see this curiosity. Harold, for his part, will arrive full of studious appreciation for a customer who presumes they will be purchasing enough to afford them a discount. Harold has his own vies on that: One book per customer. Knowledge is power, after all, and he finds it tedious to overthrow and destroy** those who believe they have the power to inconvenience him. Jasfoup, with his eye for a bargain, will offer a discount of his own so long as a contract is signed and Felicia, who runs the Basement Gallery (downstairs, naturally) will smile politely, showing all 54 teeth.

If you haven’t seen your error yet and run screaming into Waterstones instead (were you get a similar reaction) They’ll nod and smile and bring you a cup of tea while you wait for the nice men from the sanitarium.***

* Only the one. Julie lifts it up to get a better view. The other eye is real and stays firmly in its socket.

**Though the confiscation of their personal libraries has never bothered him.

***(Rachel’s note: Jasfoup claims I misheard when I wrote ‘crematorium’ first. He edited it, but I don’t think I misheard at all.)

Image from random google search. Would you really buy a book from them? I thought not.

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