Saturday, December 06, 2008

Dear Jane...

Laverstone Manor
Wood Road,
Laverstone.

Jane Hillock
32, Latimer Road,
Laverstone.

Dear Jane.

It has come to my attention that you’re dating James Elverton. Please don’t. He is a notorious womaniser and I’m sure it will come as no surprise to find that he’s not even human, not fully, anyway. Call me mad if you must but I feel obligated to inform you of his goblin heritage. Have you met his mother? Goblin, I tell you. I can smell them a mile off. That’s why I stopped going out with him. It was either that or send his parents back to Hell, which puts a terrible strain on a relationship. You know how it is.

See you at Hockey practice.

Lucy

8 comments:

martha said...

Our Lucy's become a bit of a stirrer.... Interesting?????

Leatherdykeuk said...

She can see goblins, poor thing!

Zinnia Cyclamen said...

And smell them, which is, surely, worse. Eeeewwwww.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Oh dogs! yes!

stephanie said...

I'll assume she had the girl's best interests at heart and wasn't angling. ;)

Leatherdykeuk said...

Of course! Elverton smells.

DJ Kirkby said...

How to make friends and influence people...

Leatherdykeuk said...

It's in her best interests...