Saturday, January 31, 2009

Incalculable Worth

“How much is the shop worth?” said Harold, his pencil dancing up a column of figures as he calculated the week’s takings. Passing trade accounted for less than 3% of sales – not enough to pay for heating the shop (assuming they paid their bills which, thanks to Jasfoup’s creative accounting and Devious’ skill with a pair of wire strippers and a junction box, they didn’t).

“Lots?” said Jasfoup. “Maintaining a respectable frontage is the duty of every demonologist. You can never put a value on a reasonable means to earn a crust, for appearances’ sake.” He sounded more like a Victorian parlour magician than an accomplished businessman.

Harold raised one eyebrow. “You sound like a Victorian parlour maid,” he said. “I’m surprised you don’t come out with a few ‘Good Morrow’s’ and ‘ne’er-do-wells’.” He grinned. “No, seriously though. I’ve got to put a figure on it for the insurance.”

“Off the top of my head,” said Jasfoup, thoughtfully, “Somewhere between a billion pounds and one pound eighty-seven pence.”

“How is you work that out?

“That’s how much me lunch cost me,” said the demon. “It’s in the fridge.


aims said...

Good lord - you don't want to say it's worth a billion pounds Jasfoup! The insurance company will be soaking you!

On the other hand - I do see it can be quite beneficial to have a demon and imp around - at times. Not paying for power? Hmmmmmmmm - that might come in really handy on our long winter nights with limited daylight.

Leatherdykeuk said...

That is a good point. I'll tell Harold to put the shop value down as thirty thousand instead.

stephanie said...

Thirty thousand? That's a bargain and a half. I'd got fifty-three. Not too round a number, or they get suspicious.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Fifty three isn't a round number? It has all those curly bits!