Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Proxy War

There was no need for the war.

God, ever mindful of the rebellion that lost him a third of his children in the fall, declared a series of proxy battles. Chlamidiel, the leader of the current dispute (who was going to Fall no matter what the result, just for the audacity of Questioning God) elected to take the French while God took the English.

Chlamidiel was forced to admit defeat when God took control of the Prussian forces and added them to his own, forcing Chlamidiel’s proxy to abdicate at Fontainebleau.

“But You cheated,” said the angel in despair as they tore off his wings and forced him to the edge of Heaven.

Gabriel laughed. “God never cheats,” he said. “He is ineffable, and the rules alter themselves to his benefit.” He prodded the ex-angel with his sword. “Any one else want to deny putting a mortal’s sex organs right next the their excretion orifices was a good idea? No?”

2 comments:

aims said...

Yes! I've always wondered why that is as well!

Leatherdykeuk said...

Beats me!