Monday, June 01, 2009

As Good As Dead


On Low Street, tucked between the closed and boarded premises of Harold’s Emporium (now the favourite place of bill posters) and the Glendale Tobacconist and Off-Licence is a single door leading to an upstairs flat. The shingle screwed to the wall declares it the premises of “As Good As Dead,” exterminators and taxidermy supplies. Richard Deveril, the owner and sole employee, conducts most of his business by phone and internet and parks his van in the space that used to belong to the Emporium next door.

Richard is an amiable fellow who has loved animals since he was a child. Don’t be surprised if he praises the attractiveness of your dog if he passes you in the street. If he takes a particular shine to it he’ll offer you cash. It is mere coincidence that those declining his offer find their pet run over, poisoned or dognapped within a week.

5 comments:

stephanie said...

Amiable indeed! I'll steer clear of Richard, thanks for the warning.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Just don't show him your dog. Or cat. Or daughter.

stephanie said...

*shudders again*

aims said...

---closed and boarded premises --- ??

Leatherdykeuk said...

Harold left the Emporium at the end of AUC. There have been no new businesses on the premises since.