Thursday, July 23, 2009

Notification of Change of Policy

Notification of Change of Policy

With the requirements to be accepted into Heaven becoming ever more stringent and the increase in deviance from God and sin in general on the mortal world, the Almighty has initiated a policy of downsizing of all departments. Heaven has been running at an under-efficient rate since the Fall, when a full third of the Heavenly host left to pursue alternative theisms and it has come to the attention of the management that such un-required space is no longer ecologically sound.

Pursuant to Green Policy 139 services to these areas (light, heat existence etc) will terminate shortly.

Thank you.
The Management.



Image: The Five People You Meet in Heaven

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1 comment:

aims said...

Dammit! There goes ANY chance I had of ascending. Smaller space - less room for my (present)body. However - with the burn and pitch being my (burial) of choice - there's still a very small chance of fitting me in somewhere - that's if I want to ascend mind you. I still haven't decided on that.