Saturday, July 04, 2009

Pitts Lane

If you ever drive down Pitts Lane, don’t do it with the top down.

Not that there’s any danger of contracting smallpox – Pitts Lane is so called because it was the site of mass burials in 1665-7 when over seventy of the townsfolk died. Pitts lane backs onto the fields of Farmer John Kelsedge who has the habit of spraying his fields with a solution of cow dung in spring water. He swears blind it works wonders on his crops and to be fair he consistently wins prizes for the biggest potatoes, the biggest turnips and the longest carrots. It would be better not to reveal what Mrs. Patterson at the Farmer’s Market Café awarded him a ‘Best of Show’ medal for.

John Kelsedge sprays his crops daily at dawn and sunset and has no respect for boundaries and users of the public road, particularly archeologists and those unfortunates who travel by bicycle to see the site of the three burial pits. Nor does he care about dry-cleaning bills.

Image: The Scourging Angel: The Black Death in the British Isles

4 comments:

aims said...

Ahhh! 'When the shit hits the fan'.

Got it! Not going there!

Leatherdykeuk said...

Indeed not!

stephanie said...

*claps* Oh, excellent. Except I shall warn Colina not to dig about there. ;)

Leatherdykeuk said...

Ha! Very wise!