Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Breaking with Tradition

"It's all true, I'm afraid," said Harold to the abomination standing in the circle of burning mineral oil. "You've been awarded the job of amending every copy of the Bible in the world. There are 43 billion, so the sooner you start, the sooner you can get home to your supper. Think of the prestige!

"I'm thinking of the burns I'm going to get when I desecrate the Holy Book."

"Meh! Nothing compared to the ass kicking Lucifer will give you if you don't." It was a persuasive argument. The demon sighed

"Are you quite sure about this?" The demon looked askance at the slip of paper in his hand. "It's easy to remember. It's a nice, round number. It's _traditional_."

"Quite sure I'm afraid." Harold smiled and closed the demon's solitary hand over the amendment. "The number of the Beast was never 666. Recent experts have determined the number to be 616. It was found in the translation of the Dead Sea Scrolls. The original Hebrew was smudged."

"But what am I supposed to do now? All Hell is set up for the number 666. Imagine all the teenagers that are going to be inscribing 666 on their arm with a biro and a compass point and find they've put the number of... Wait! Whose number is 666 then?"

Harold flicked through the Supernatural Who's Who. "It's Crispin," he said. "God of individual sized Brambly-Apple pies."


stephanie said...

*laughs* Okay, you got coffee on that one. ;)

Leatherdykeuk said...

:) Splendid!