Jasfoup surveyed the damage. It was, technically, a minor explosion but it had taken off the boy's right hand and leg, and both his testacles. He leaned down and pressed a finger to the boy's neck. Alive but in shock and Jasfoup could already hear footsteps coming up the stairs. The lad would survive.
"Am...am I dead?"
"Nope." Jasfoup used a stylus to tick off a box on his smartphone. "You were really lucky. I don't even want to know why you had an M80 flash grenade up your bum."
"It wasn't..." The lad squeezed his eyes shut in pain. "If I'm not dead, why are you here? I thought the devil only came for the dead?"
Jasfoup tutted. "First, I'm a demon, not a devil and second, I have a part time job as a lifeguard."
"Yes. I visit stupid people and tell them to get out of the gene pool." He put his phone back in his pocket. "But I see you've done that for me."
True Story: 2009 Darwin Award: Muffled Explosion